


Heat Wave (Like A New Romance)

by luninosity



Category: American Actor RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Epiphanies, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 21:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1873341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luninosity/pseuds/luninosity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The smart thing to do would be to move out immediately, have lots of very heterosexual sex in order to stop thinking about Jared’s shoulders, and possibly even quit the show and move to China. </p><p>But Jensen doesn’t really want to move to China, or quit the show. He likes it here. And he likes Jared’s shoulders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heat Wave (Like A New Romance)

**Author's Note:**

> So I found a folder with a bunch of old fic in it from back when I was a- in Supernatural fandom, and b- still nervous about posting RPS... *laughs hollowly* Anyway, this one's relatively presentable. I think I wrote it around season three or four, so, um, just imagine we're back in roughly that era?
> 
> Title from The Who’s “Heat Wave”; as ever, only doing this for fun, no disrespect intended!

Jared’s changed, Jensen thinks.  
  
It’s not a bad thing.  
             
The thing is, Jensen’s always been too self-aware, too self-conscious, for his own good. Always watching, always looking at himself like an observer: _what will they think if I do this? If I say that? Will they look at me differently?_ Always cautious, always hesitant; he’s lived like that for so long that it’s just a part of him now, a natural, easy reflex, his armor against the world. But Jared’s never been that way.  
  
And the thing is, Jared’s changed _him_. Jensen finds himself doing things he never thought he would do, never even considered in his wildest dreams. He plays off Jared’s jokes, lets himself be climbed like a tree in public. Pokes Jared in the face with a Twizzler just to see his reaction. Gets up on cars, lip-syncs and dances his heart out, because it’ll make Jared fall over laughing. Wakes up and sneaks downstairs to surprise Jared with a snowman at the front door in the morning (the look on his face was totally worth the lost hour or so of precious sleep). He makes dumb jokes because Jared will get them, even wanders around the house in his glasses and old sweatpants because Jared will get _him_ , and Jared won’t be judgmental, because Jared doesn’t know how to be judgmental, especially with friends. And the world is Jared’s friend.  
  
But Jared’s grown up, somehow, while the world wasn’t looking. Jensen was, though, because he’s always looking, and this is what he sees: Jared’s still Jared, happy flailing limbs and random insane obsessions (he’s been banned from baking after what’s now referred to as the Unfortunate Oven Incident). He still loves people as much as ever, like a giant (literally) human mirror who collects all the energy in a room and reflects it back a hundredfold. That’s Jared’s particular gift, and he’ll never lose it, at least Jensen hopes not. But this new Jared is a little more mature, a little more aware of what he’s doing while he does it. He’ll still bend over for Misha on stage while the fangirls cheer, but there’s a split second of thought behind his eyes now, considering possible repercussions, where before he would have grinned and jumped in with both feet. He stands close, but he doesn’t drape himself all over Jensen like he used to. He still plays pranks and starts snowball fights, and he still parties as well as anyone, but there’s a new sense of something almost like maturity there too.  
  
This new Jared is fascinating and complex, a really amazing guy, and Jensen just wants to study him, all the different facets, all the familiar things that he’s loved knowing about Jared plus all the new things that he wants to know.  
  
And the thing is, Jensen just thought the word love, and it wasn’t ironic, and he knows it, because Jensen has always been extraordinarily self-aware and what he’s now aware of is that he’s in love with Jared and probably has been for years, ever since Jared had bounced up to him, crushed him in a giant octopus hug, and announced, “Hi! I’m Sam! I mean Jared! And you’re Dean!”  
  
Jensen comes to this realization, somehow very appropriately, on set, while watching Jared play around with Genevieve between takes. They have good chemistry, not great but good, and Jared flirts with her a little, picks her up as she socks his shoulder and laughs. They’re friends. And Jensen finds himself suddenly, inexplicably, and almost frighteningly jealous of her.   
  
He wants to be the one to make Jared laugh, to make his eyes light up, to make him smile, not just the big goofy grin but the soft and thoughtful smile he has sometimes, when he’s relaxed and content, and Jensen has spent way too much time thinking about his co-star’s smile.  
  
Jared spots him looking and waves, easy and open. “Hey, Jensen! Wanna put superglue on Kripke’s toilet?”  
  
And Jensen says sure, because, well, how could he possibly turn that offer down. But the thing is, he’s still thinking about Jared, and that’s what he continues to do in the back of his mind all day.  
  
The smart thing to do would be to ignore this realization and hope it all goes away. Actually, the smart thing to do would be to move out immediately, have lots of very heterosexual sex in order to stop thinking about Jared’s shoulders, and possibly even quit the show and move to China.  
  
But Jensen doesn’t really want to move to China, or quit the show. He likes it here. And he likes Jared’s shoulders. Probably too much.  
  
So he does what is not a smart thing at all, and goes home early (Jared has to stay, haha, in order to throw some hapless extras around with Sam’s Demon Hand of Doom and Ipecac), whereupon he drinks as much tequila as he can, and then proceeds to throw it all up again.  
  
He stares at himself in the bathroom mirror, and then brushes his teeth, and sticks his head in the shower in the hope that it will make him feel better (it doesn’t). The thing is, he’s pretty damn sure Jared’s straight, and even if not, he’s also pretty sure Jared’s not harboring some secret long-term crush on _Jensen_ , because Jared isn’t the type to moon and wait around; he’d just go for it if he thought there might be a chance of something happening. And he hasn’t. And also, and this is a big _also_ , Jensen isn’t gay.  
  
Except now he thinks maybe he is. Or it’s just Jared, because everyone loves Jared. That makes sense: he’s Jared-sexual. Or maybe still drunk.  
  
Jensen stares into the sink like it’s got all the answers, and tells it, “I’m an idiot.”  
  
“I’m not disagreeing,” says a voice from the doorway, “but why is that?”  
  
Jensen whips around and almost falls over, because his balance is shot to hell, and of course it’s Jared, standing there smiling, head cocked and curious, like one of his dogs eying a potential playmate. Jared says, “Jensen? You all right?” and Jensen actually physically can’t talk, because his tongue has frozen in his mouth and his vocal cords have become temporarily paralyzed.  
  
Jared sighs, and says, “You look terrible, come on, time for bed,” and his eyes are all dark with exasperated concern, and Jensen lets Jared pull him out of the bathroom and toward the bed without resisting.  
  
Jared puts him on the bed and bends over to yank off Jensen’s shoes, and Jensen thinks, _God, you’re a great guy_ , and the thing is, Jensen must still be very drunk, because he proceeds to say exactly that.  
  
Jared makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and an amused snort, and looks up at him, at which point Jensen’s ever-present sense of self-consciousness kicks in, prompting him into a panicked half-lunge, half-roll off the other side of the bed, someplace where he doesn’t have to meet Jared’s eyes.  
  
Except, naturally, he manages to smack his head on the bed frame on the way down, loud enough that Jared hears it, and Jensen knows that Jared will be over there to check on him in about ten seconds, so he just rests his poor abused head on the carpet and closes his eyes in defeat.  
  
Jared sits down next to him. “Jensen?”   
  
Jensen doesn’t move. Maybe if he thinks it hard enough, he can just die. Expiring now would save him a lot of pain and misery.  
  
“Jensen,” Jared says, and he actually sounds kind of worried. “Jensen? Look at me?”   
  
Jared should never sound worried, Jensen thinks, especially not about him, and so he opens his eyes, which is a mistake because Jared is leaning over him and is, oh God, right there in front of him.  
  
Jensen absolutely cannot be held responsible for what he does next, because clearly his brain has completely shut off, since he leans up just a few millimeters and kisses Jared, with absolutely no hesitation or self-doubt whatsoever.  
  
And Jared kisses back.   
  
It’s probably some sort of hallucination brought on by the tequila and the close encounter with the bed frame, but Jensen’s pretty sure Jared’s definitely participating, at least until he pulls away and sits up. “Um,” he says, eloquently.  
  
Jensen shuts his eyes again, and now he really wants to die, and only partly because his head kind of hurts a lot now.  
  
“So,” Jared says, sounding very thoughtful. Jensen really doesn’t want to hear whatever’s coming next; it can’t be good. Then again, it’s hard to see how this day could get any worse.  
  
“So,” Jared says again. “So, when you say I’m a great guy. That clearly means you want to make out with me.” He sounds proud of himself, like he’s finally deciphered a foreign language that he’s been working on for years: Jensen-speak. He grins. “You want me.”  
  
“Jared,” Jensen says from the floor, “shut up.”  
  
Jared ignores him. “So,” he says for the third time. Jensen really wishes he’d find a new word.   
  
Jared continues, “If I think you, for instance, are _also_ a great guy...” He pauses, expectantly.  
  
“Please stop talking.”  
  
“Okay,” Jared says, and leans over and kisses him. This one goes on for a lot longer, and then Jared sits up and says, innocently, “Oh, that wasn’t what you meant?”  
  
And for some reason, maybe it’s the sparkle in Jared’s eyes, or the teasing tone, so _them_ and familiar but so utterly new in this situation, but Jensen just starts laughing, there on the carpet, aching head and all. Because Jared’s stretched out there next to him and grinning along, and this could very well be the best day ever.  
  
“Bed,” Jared says firmly, and picks them both up off the floor, and then flops his giant self onto Jensen’s bed, and also onto Jensen. “Talk tomorrow. Sleep now.”  
  
“Ooof,” Jensen says, and then, after Jared moves, “Jay?”  
  
“What?” Jared says, draping an arm and a leg over Jensen. “You know I love you.”  
  
And the thing is, Jensen does.


End file.
